a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just tell him i said nine months
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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