Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
