There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
