It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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