Your dad touched me again.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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