I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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