Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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