his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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