what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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