i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
