I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Randomize
