What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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