He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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