I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
