watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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