laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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