Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize