I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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