every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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