I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
