Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.

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(716): View more from New York

Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.

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(512): View more from Texas

Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(508): View more from Massachusetts

dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day

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(330): View more from Ohio

Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.

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(845): View more from New York

you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic

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(734): View more from Michigan

It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.

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