My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Your cock deserves a montage
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
