At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
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Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.