How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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