Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.