Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
We left the knife in your bed.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?