So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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