very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
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its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
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When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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