i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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