I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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