If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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