I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
FUCK WHALES
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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