I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
