btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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