Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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