What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
