I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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