My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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