so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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