I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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