It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
