You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
