lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
im on a boat
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