Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize