So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
