New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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