at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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