Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
