ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
