2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
