Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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