While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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