Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
