Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
