brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
