hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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