The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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