THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
