Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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