She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
