Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
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