i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I AM VODKA MAN
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
