they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
