I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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