At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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