Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
