I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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