i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My ass is underappreciated
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
